It seems like I've been writing all my life and also no time at all - all at the same time. I am a terrible procrastinator sometimes when it comes to writing. The thought of writing excites me and when I'm actually in my groove, all is sweetness and light. But then there are those times when the writing just stays in my mind and doesn't spill onto the paper, so to speak. I hate those times.
The past couple of years have seen those times. I have started lots of projects and finished precisely none of them. Not good enough. Of course, there are a thousand excuses; mostly surrounding my 'day job.' But at the end of the day, they're just excuses.
I was sat in my 'local' last night, chatting with a close friend and of course the topic eventually got around to life choices and what we want to do when we grow up. Shoot, I'm already fifty! But it was an interesting conversation as we sat and contemplated our beers (and I've been so good recently, staying off the evil stuff!). But one thing became very clear to me. I actually do enjoy writing and getting things down for the world to see. I realized that this revelation should also affect my 'day job' choices (until my writing supports me - if ever). I am currently 'between contracts' as they say. My work life is a series of contracts, working for high tech companies, usually hired to solve a particular problem that they are willing to pay a professional for. I am currently interviewing for my next 'day job' and the break has given me a little time to reflect on what I really want to do.
I want to write! I wish I didn't have to worry about money and little things like that, but I do. Of course, that's no different than a million other budding authors out there. The only thing really holding me back is excuses. Lots of them, as I said. So, it's time to put an end to the excuses. It's time to just write and get things done.
I'm going to have to change a few things in my daily routine to make this work, though. In the past I have always written early in the morning (circa 5am), before I leave for my day job. Then, when my job gets busy or there's the odd late night, the writing goes by the board. One missing day becomes two. Two becomes three. You get the picture. Obviously writing can't be that important to me...
Except it is. I'm just easily waylaid by excuses sometimes. So, it's time for a change. I need to do two things: 1/ take a job that allows me an element of being able to schedule my own work hours 2/ be prepared to switch my writing time to a different time of day (evenings I guess). It's going to be a struggle as I never seem to be at my most creative in the evenings (maybe a glass or two of wine while I write might help?). But things are going to have to change.
So, there we go. I've put it down in writing now. I have no excuses (unless I hide this blog or delete the post). Today is Thursday 17th February, 2011 and it's time to refocus on my writing.