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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Reading eBooks May Cause Cancer

Now that we have been told that using cellphones can cause cancer, it is only a logical step to realize that reading ebooks on cellphones or iPads could also cause cancer. Wow! I can just see how this headline will go down with Apple, Android and Amazon.

Maybe paper is about to make a comeback! Perhaps this is a plan by the major publishers to stop people from buying ebooks and force them to buy the expensive and bulky printed versions. Maybe it’s a government conspiracy to force people to build libraries once more. Perhaps it’s even bigger than this. Perhaps it’s a way to force the whole of technology to be abandoned in favor of luddite practices.

Whoops, I’m getting a little carried away now. But am I? This is how it starts. One day there’s a rumor. The next day it goes viral. Then finally, it’s fact. Then you have it. People proclaim from the streets that reading books causes cancer. Oh well, I guess if that were true I’d be riddled with the stuff by now. Maybe I am. Maybe the ‘cancer’ we’re talking about here is just a different type of cancer. Maybe it’s just like a disease that eats away at you. Maybe the cancer we’re talking about here comes from reading hundreds of books. After all that reading your brain just craves more and more until it completely self-destructs. The cancer wins.

Okay, enough. I can’t believe for one second that the world we’ve come to know for the past fifteen years is going to get turned upside down like this. Like the men in white coats said, there’s no actual evidence that cellphones cause cancer, just a reasonable suspicion. And the people who are saying this are all old people that never got their chance to do anything else amazing before. They don’t understand technology and they ‘poo poo’ technological breakthroughs. Of course, to them it makes sense that they should shun cellphones, ebooks and probably even xBox Kinect (how could they?).

Me? My life is already too short to worry about whether everything I do is dangerous or not. OF COURSE IT IS! I’m going to keep reading (and writing) ebooks, cancer causing or not!


  1. Hundreds of books read here. A good chunk of em' on my iPad that I eat, sleep, travel, read and live by. No cancer yet. I'll keep you updated though lol ;)

  2. We are all going to die from something and will not go until our time. I for one would be privileged to go reading my books!

  3. I'm not worried about this latest 'threat.' Thanks for the excellent post.

  4. Life without reading and writing IS cancer. Perhaps I'll switch to an old fashioned phone and give up my microwave to balance the risks out. ;) Thanks for the insightful post, Paul!

  5. OMG, I'm so scared.....I promise I'll never read a book again....and I'm serious about this, because now that I've found all you can books I will read only e-books:D
    I'm sure e-books won't cause cancer, right?